ADHD simulator

(set:$init=true) <header>YOU FUCKING DUMBASS!!!</header> You're already in your livingroom. It is also your bedroom.... You live in a studio apartment, you peniless fool. [[anyways...|here we go again...]]

<header> You make your way over to the bathroom. (God, it still kinda smells in here.) </header> You don't see your keys anywhere at first glance, but you catch a glimpse of your reflection and DAMN..... You look good! 😎 Your morning breath could use some work though [[Might as well brush my teeth while I'm in here]] [[Holy shit I do look good right now!]] (text-color:#ffb56d)[[Okay, let's keep this moving|here we go again...]]

(set: $time_spent = $time_spent + 2) <header> You take a minute to check yourself out...</header> Fuck... Did you even brush your teeth...? [[I should probably freshen up|Might as well brush my teeth while I'm in here]] [[I should get going|here we go again...]]

<header> The phone rings... </header> Your manager picks up. "''(name of the place you work at)'', how can I help you?" You explain that you're running late today the line is silent for a moment... "Okay thanks for letting us know!! 😀" "oh and also, you're fired" "byeeeeeeeee" [[welp... time to file for unemployment. -_-]]

<header>WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY BE IN THE KITCHEN??</header> hahahahahaha you're just hungry... [[Actually I could make some food real quick...]] (text-color:#ffb56d)[[You know what, I should actually find that thing I was looking for|here we go again...]]

(set: $time_spent = $time_spent + 2) <header> You brush your teeth... </header> You do feel much better now. [[You catch a glimpse of your reflection again...|Holy shit I do look good right now!]] [[But maybe you should just go back to your room...|here we go again...]]

<header> You look around your room... </header> wow it's a fucking mess in here Theres a big fuck ass pile of dirty laundry overflowing out of your hamper and onto the floor Your bed is an unkempt pile of pillows and blankets, covered in a thick layer of cat hair... there's also some more laundry laying around on here, of course... [[I should check the pockets on some of my other pants]] [[I should check the bed]] [[I don't feel like doing any of this right now|here we go again...]] (text-color:#ffb56d)[[maybe they're in that crevase between the bed and the wall]]

ADHD Simulator

(set:$time to 5-$time_spent) <header> Here we go again... </header> Your god damn keys are lost and you've got ''(print:$time) minutes'' to leave for work if you wanna get there on time.... If you don't wanna get written up AGAIN, you'd better get a move on. [[Maybe they're in the kitchen]] [[Did I drop them in the bathroom when I pulled down my pants to take a shit earlier?]] [[They might just be here in my room somewhere]] [[Maybe I should just call my boss and be honest about what's going on]] [[Are they in the livingroom?]]

(set:$time_spent to 0) <header>Six months later...</header> You finally got another job a few weeks ago... You work at this other place now and it's pretty chill... You've been late to work a couple times and gotten yourself a write-up here or there, but it's really no big deal... You're getting ready to leave your shitty studio apartment when you realize.... ''Your keys......'' You should really put an airtag on those or something... [[Sigh...|here we go again...]]

(set:$time_spent = $time_spent+2) <header> You make some food real quick... </header> hope your little snack was worth 2 minutes of your precious time [[Shit! I should keep looking for that thing...|here we go again...]]

(set:$time_spent to $time_spent + 2) <header> You dig through some of your other pants pockets... </header> You don't find your keys anywhere, but you do find a chapstick in one of your pockets You also find a pair of pants that looks way better than the ones you have on now... And there's always time to look your best [[My lips do feel kind of dry...]] [[Wouldn't want to show up late AND look like a mess...]] (text-color:#ffb56d)[[I should keep looking|They might just be here in my room somewhere]]

(set: $time_spent to $time_spent+2) <header> You dig through all the pillows and plushies and shit on your bed... </header> Nothing... And now you're covered in cat hair [[Let me look through this laundry too|I should check the pockets on some of my other pants]] wait... (text-color:#ffb56d)[[maybe they're in that crevase between the bed and the wall]]

(set: $time_spent to $time_spent + 1) (set: $time to 5-$time_spent) <header> You look in that crevasse between the bed and the wall </header> And what do you know... Your keys are on the floor against the wall back there It takes a minute but you manage to fish out your keys [[Now I can get to work]]

(set:$time_spent to $time_spent + 1) <header> You put on a bit of chapstick... </header> Wow you feel so much better You bet you look a bit better too... You take out your phone and open up the camera to check yourself out. You take a couple selfies while you're at it... When in rome, right? [[Couldn't hurt to change these pants too...|Wouldn't want to show up late AND look like a mess...]] [[I should keep looking for this damn thing I was supposed to find!|They might just be here in my room somewhere]]

(set: $time_spent to $time_spent + 2) <header> You change your pants... </header> Okay these do look pretty great!! [[My lips do feel kind of dry...]] [[I should keep looking for that thing or whatever...|They might just be here in my room somewhere]]

<header> ''CONGRATULATIONS'' You make it to work!! </header> And with an entire ''(print:5-$time_spent) minutes'' to spare! Well... you should be within the grace period Or at least they aren't gonna fire you to your face... [[CLAIM YOUR PRIZE, YOU PUNCTUAL HOOLIGAN]]

<header> YOU HAVE WON: </header> 8 hours of dissociation --- Suicidal thoughts --- Enough money to keep you at this job another day... but just barely ''THE END''